Defining 2019 in One Word

Hello, twenty-nineteen! It's been established that 2018 was a wild one (if you haven't learned it from my last post, then you've definitely figured it out from every mile-long Instagram story.) We've made it to January 1st and it's time to look ahead at resolutions, goals, plans...

In the past, I've written out long lists of resolutions naming things I'd like to change about myself. Obviously, when you set personal goals you're aiming to foster change, but it's honestly gross to tear yourself up like that. You know what I mean - sitting there forcing yourself to think about every little thing you'd like to do better. Instead of that nasty habit, for 2019 I've picked one word I will strive to achieve as a definition of my year. A word that promotes positivity and growth rather than immediate self-scolding. And that word is discovery.

I did discover a lot in 2018, but I don't think it defined my entire year. If I had to choose a word to describe the past twelve months, it'd probably be something like "exploration." I explored, but I'm not sure if I genuinely discovered anything. What the heck do I mean? I mean I never felt like I arrived at the finish line even when I was sifting around in a lot of cool things about myself and the world around me.

The top sections I typically break my life goals into are something as follows: social media & career, personal, well-being, academics and finances. In each of these categories, I always feel like I'm seeking something more, yet I rarely discover whatever it is I think I'm looking for; I rarely allow myself to find the magic. (Please, read "Big Magic" by Elizabeth Gilbert if you haven't already!)

Typing this out in jumbled thoughts and putting it into the atmosphere feels exhilarating and ridiculous at the same time. I'm not sure if I know what I'm talking about. I probably don't. I just know this method feels like the best way to guide my actions this year. Yes, I will likely find time to sit down and plan "measurable goals" and assign dates and numbers and habit trackers as an attempt to keep myself in line, but when I reflect on it all in 365 days, I want to say, "I really dug deep and discovered a lot about myself, my world, my relationships and my dreams this year!"

Instead of constantly thinking about where I could be or what other things I should be doing, I want to discover - it means getting dirty hands and possibly a broken heart. You can't discover anything if you don't put yourself out there and ask yourself the tough questions. I guess maybe in a strange way I'll be like an undercover investigator for my own life, trying to find the answers.

Tell me about your 2019 goals in the comments below. Better yet, why not choose a word to help define your own new year? It might sound crazy now, but I think it might work in the end.